Yomiko,
My maybe-love, you are a white cat that is cared and loved, and still greedy wants more. I am a black cat, lonely and tired, craving to give and desire to share. You are a greedy cat, for being greedy but also wanting to be accepted. But you have found me, a cat wandering around, only hope to have someone to sit quietly together watching the sky. If you has enough patience to sit next to me each time the wind rises, you would have all my love. As long as you know how to endure the black clouds of insecurity in me, and be keen enough to lend me your shoulders, you’ll have all of me. You’ll have me running behind you, willing to do all the crazy things to just to make you happy.
Thank you for walking with me this afternoon when the dark clouds storm in my heart. I had cried in the morning because I lost the battle with myself. I carried 50 kilos of meat and bone to the work place just to find myself weak and useless. I hated myself until I walked with you to the wind. I felt more secured when watching you swing your hands up and down, trying to explain to me something. I forgot about the fear of our “maybe” ambiguity. I like the awkwardness between us, perhaps, because it was a soft cushion for me and a gentle breeze for you in the summer. We walk together against the wind.
You know I like windy days. Because the wind is my love, the wind is me. Let me cool your summer days. When autumn comes, if we are still together, I will give back your shoulders and hug you for a long time.
Obaku, Aug 31
Lutu
Hue's garden 